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The blogs on Sensualfusion.com are written by some of the top sexuality experts around. Their information is based on scientific research and fact. Come learn about the latest news, "trends," and issues related to sex, sexual health, and intimate relationships...

How Far is Going Too Far in Teaching Sex?

Friday, March 11, 2011

How far is going too far when it comes to sex education? Such is being debated once again thanks to a live sex act demonstration at Northwestern University. The controversy, spawned by the decisions of tenured professor J. Michael Bailey, involves an after-class where a guest presenter used a machine-powered saw with a phallic object (instead of a blade) on his fiancé, to the point of orgasm, in front of about 100 students.

This “on the fly” event followed a lecture on bondage, swinging, and other sexual behaviors, plus video of a woman experiencing climax. When the flick was deemed “unrealistic,” the idea of a live sex act was born. With Bailey finding no reason not to allow the demo, he and his co-presenter gave students numerous warnings about the graphic nature of the presentation before proceeding. Some students did leave before the woman was penetrated with a sex device for about three minutes.

While Northwestern’s president, Morton Schapiro, has reacted by launching an investigation, Bailey first reacted with “that is what I get paid for.” The psychology professor has since issued a written apology, claiming that the demonstration was unplanned and based on a quick decision – something he should not have done – though he naively sees “absolutely no harm in what happened.”

In the meantime, the media and academic circles alike are debating whether or not higher education can – and should – go about teaching differently. This demonstration was just the latest in a string of educational offerings Bailey has facilitated, with earlier ones involving presentations, panel discussions or question-and-answer sessions by swingers, transvestites, convicted sex offenders, transsexual performers, and people into “kink.” So does making topics “live” cross the line?

Bailey’s defenders claim that his teaching decisions are all in the name of academic freedom, and that he cannot be faulted for providing students with an opportunity that is a part of what the university experience should be about. Bailey’s critics see what apparently amounts to no more than a reenactment of an Amsterdam sex show as inappropriate, irresponsible, and poor judgment on a number of levels, most basically when it comes to consent.  

Concern has been raised over matters like: Did students truly understand what they were about to see? How much did peer pressure play in students not leaving? (Consider that some may not have attended class that day had they known about the demo ahead of time.) Regardless, were students fully protected from what they were about to witness?

Issues around preparation, debriefing, and support have raised alarm even more given the woman involved, a self-described exhibitionist, has made statements indicating that the audience was actually part of the couple’s sexual experience. Media attention, students’ own negative experiences with sex, and conflict over the decision to stay and watch could further be causing students distress.

Bailey has gone on the defensive as sex positive, feeling that his “sex negative” attackers are practicing censorship. He believes no one has given good cause for why the demonstration should not have been offered, especially since he warned the 567 students enrolled in the class that the demo would be explicit (students were invited to voluntarily view the demonstration, and without any impact on their grade). He sees this demonstration as an opportunity for learners to experience areas of sexuality rarely seen.

Unfortunately, it’s all too predictable that the fields of sexuality education and sex research will pay the price for Bailey’s missteps – at least in the United States. What seemingly amounted to no more than an attempt to shock and titillate has crowned Bailey as the Jerry Springer of sex education, and any attempts to highlight real experiences as “freak shows.” Bailey has demonstrated complete ignorance or lack of care when it comes the political and social climates in which sexuality educators operate. Incidences like these hurt all educators who are truly interested in teaching learners about sexuality.

Ironically, many sexuality educators themselves have never attended a workshop or presentation involving nudity, live sex demonstrations, or enhancement products. Knowing well that such learning experiences are largely unnecessary in teaching and learning about sex, a number want to know about the goals and objectives in Bailey’s lesson plan. What were they and what does a live demonstration do for students that a film or website cannot? How does a live sex act meet students’ educational needs?

So far, Bailey hasn’t given anybody any good answers or rationale for his decisions. 

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How Far is Going Too Far in Teaching Sex?

Friday, March 11, 2011

How far is going too far when it comes to sex education? Such is being debated once again thanks to a live sex act demonstration at Northwestern University. The controversy, spawned by the decisions of tenured professor J. Michael Bailey, involves an after-class where a guest presenter used a machine-powered saw with a phallic object (instead of a blade) on his fiancé, to the point of orgasm, in front of about 100 students.

This “on the fly” event followed a lecture on bondage, swinging, and other sexual behaviors, plus video of a woman experiencing climax. When the flick was deemed “unrealistic,” the idea of a live sex act was born. With Bailey finding no reason not to allow the demo, he and his co-presenter gave students numerous warnings about the graphic nature of the presentation before proceeding. Some students did leave before the woman was penetrated with a sex device for about three minutes.

While Northwestern’s president, Morton Schapiro, has reacted by launching an investigation, Bailey first reacted with “that is what I get paid for.” The psychology professor has since issued a written apology, claiming that the demonstration was unplanned and based on a quick decision – something he should not have done – though he naively sees “absolutely no harm in what happened.”

In the meantime, the media and academic circles alike are debating whether or not higher education can – and should – go about teaching differently. This demonstration was just the latest in a string of educational offerings Bailey has facilitated, with earlier ones involving presentations, panel discussions or question-and-answer sessions by swingers, transvestites, convicted sex offenders, transsexual performers, and people into “kink.” So does making topics “live” cross the line?

Bailey’s defenders claim that his teaching decisions are all in the name of academic freedom, and that he cannot be faulted for providing students with an opportunity that is a part of what the university experience should be about. Bailey’s critics see what apparently amounts to no more than a reenactment of an Amsterdam sex show as inappropriate, irresponsible, and poor judgment on a number of levels, most basically when it comes to consent.  

Concern has been raised over matters like: Did students truly understand what they were about to see? How much did peer pressure play in students not leaving? (Consider that some may not have attended class that day had they known about the demo ahead of time.) Regardless, were students fully protected from what they were about to witness?

Issues around preparation, debriefing, and support have raised alarm even more given the woman involved, a self-described exhibitionist, has made statements indicating that the audience was actually part of the couple’s sexual experience. Media attention, students’ own negative experiences with sex, and conflict over the decision to stay and watch could further be causing students distress.

Bailey has gone on the defensive as sex positive, feeling that his “sex negative” attackers are practicing censorship. He believes no one has given good cause for why the demonstration should not have been offered, especially since he warned the 567 students enrolled in the class that the demo would be explicit (students were invited to voluntarily view the demonstration, and without any impact on their grade). He sees this demonstration as an opportunity for learners to experience areas of sexuality rarely seen.

Unfortunately, it’s all too predictable that the fields of sexuality education and sex research will pay the price for Bailey’s missteps – at least in the United States. What seemingly amounted to no more than an attempt to shock and titillate has crowned Bailey as the Jerry Springer of sex education, and any attempts to highlight real experiences as “freak shows.” Bailey has demonstrated complete ignorance or lack of care when it comes the political and social climates in which sexuality educators operate. Incidences like these hurt all educators who are truly interested in teaching learners about sexuality.

Ironically, many sexuality educators themselves have never attended a workshop or presentation involving nudity, live sex demonstrations, or enhancement products. Knowing well that such learning experiences are largely unnecessary in teaching and learning about sex, a number want to know about the goals and objectives in Bailey’s lesson plan. What were they and what does a live demonstration do for students that a film or website cannot? How does a live sex act meet students’ educational needs?

So far, Bailey hasn’t given anybody any good answers or rationale for his decisions. 

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Dr. Castellanos: Using Mental Stimulation for a Great Sex Life

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

What sets our sex and sexuality apart from every other animal on the planet is the involvement of our mind and every aspect of our person, not just our bodies.  This means that our sexual activity is much more complex because it exists on many levels - our physical being, our personality, our intellect, our wants and desires, our creativity, and our memories and dreams.  Our capacity for satisfaction, then, also exists on all of these levels, which involves our minds even more than our bodies.  The involvement of our mind and positive mental stimulation leads to a healthy, vibrant, and active sex life with greater stimulation and satisfaction that can endure over time.

Although we are biologically programmed for sex, our mind plays a huge role in directing our sexual activity.  The type of partner we look for, the type of activity that excites us, and how comfortable we feel around our sexual activity all have to do with our mind.  Even our ability to get sexually aroused is, for the most part, controlled by our mind, because we respond positively to those activities, scenarios, and interactions that we already define as 'exciting' or 'sexy', while we turn off to things we find distasteful, rude, or ridiculous.  Knowing ourselves and how our mind works to enhance our sex life can be very useful in creating a sex life that is fun, stimulating, exciting, and continuously interesting.  

The mental part of sex happens long before there is any physical contact.  As we are going through our day, any thoughts we have about sex or sensuality contribute to our mental stimulation for sex.  We may start to plan how we would like our next sexual encounter to be like, or think about the exciting aspects of our last sexual encounter.  By doing this, we are priming our brains to have pleasure with our partner by enhancing the positive aspects in the way we think about our sex life and our sexual activity with them.  We may think of different scenarios that we have had, or those that we would like to try, which increases our interest, motivation, and and level of excitement.

Actually, studies have shown that oftentimes the anticipation of something can be just as pleasurable or more that an activity itself.  The way this works is because our mind gets a great deal of enjoyment from imaging the ideal situation - the most desirable touch, the most exciting surroundings, the most stimulating interactions.  Knowing how to make the most of this mental stimulation helps heighten this pleasure for ourselves, contributing to a more exciting sex life with our partners.  As we explore the mental stimulation aspect of our sexuality, we also learn about our own sexuality and its depth and complexity.

Of course, mental stimulation plays a huge role in the actually moment of sexual contact.  How we think about sex and what we choose to focus on can be the difference between experiencing anxiety, detachment, and disappointment, or experiencing delight, intense excitement, and intense pleasure.  Something as simple as focusing our attention on what physically feels good at the moment, or how our partner is responding or aroused heightens our own arousal and brings us closer to ecstasy.  On the other hand, if we can only focus on getting to orgasm, or are more outside of ourselves with worries and doubts, it cuts into our the flow of sexual arousal and distracts us from our sexual activity.  It is the difference between using our minds to get lost in the moment, and using our mind to take us away from the full experience of sex. 

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Oral Sex as Main Play Appears Officially Mainstream

Thursday, August 19, 2010
For years, media headlines have been screaming that everyone is into oral sex. But it’s only recently that we’ve started to see the research results to back this claim. According to a newly published study out of the University of Alberta, oral sex has become quite the common activity for young Canadian women.

Every participant who reported having had sexual intercourse also reported having engaged in oral sex, though interviews with the lead researcher, Brea Malacad, do not clarify if this is oral action is giving, receiving, or both. The research, published in the European Journal of Contraception and Reproductive Health Care, further showed that about half of respondents see oral sex as less intimate than sexual intercourse, though 41 percent find the sex acts equally intimate. What surprised Malacad was the fact that most young women enjoyed oral sex, reporting having mostly positive emotions about the act, with over 30% feeling powerful when performing fellatio.

Whether you’re male or female, going down on a man or woman can invite some of the most intense sexual experiences. For many women, having someone perform cunnilingus on them is their only means or the most effective means to realizing orgasm. This is in large part because the clitoris receives ample attention and can be effectively stimulated quite easily. For many men, having a nice, hot, wet mouth on their genitals, lips tightening around their pride and joy, is an experience like no other. Then there’s the matter of “hero worship” both genders are rather fond of.

For those with disability or chronic illness, oral sex can be an excellent way of staying intimate while getting around a lot of issues that get in the way of other types of sex. If you’re low on energy, have issues with spasticity, lubrication, or erections, or find penetration or thrusting difficult and uncomfortable, oral sex is one way to provide intense pleasures.   

Considered by many to be the most intimate sexual act both physically and emotionally, partners get off on tasting, smelling, and seeing each other in the most up close and personal way. The receiver thrives off of being doted on, while the giver can take great joy in making sure that their lover feels absolutely amazing.

While the prevalence of sexual activity, in general, declines with age, a significant number of men and women still engage in oral sex, amongst other sexual behaviors, even into their eighties and nineties. A 2007 AARP Modern Maturity Sexuality Survey of 1,384 individuals 45 and older found that age itself has the greatest impact on the frequency of oral sex for men and women. Greater physical satisfaction with the relationship was also found to be associated with more frequent oral sex for women. Men and women in shorter relationships were also found to engage in more frequent oral sex than those in long-term relationships.

Such blows away negative stereotypes regarding sexual inactivity in getting older. It further shows that oral is officially a part of many lovers’ sexual repertoires, putting it back in the bedroom as a revered celebration of sexual pleasuring, as it was amongst some of Earth’s earliest people for centuries.  
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The Most Coveted, All-Consuming Orgasm Around

Thursday, July 08, 2010

It’s down to the last climactic moment. On Saturday, the Netherlands and Spain will play for the 2010 World Cup title, inspiring orgasmic reactions on and off the field alike. While the sex to be had by fans is admirable in celebrating their team’s victory (e.g., there’s a bumper year of births in England the better their team does, which, alas, won’t be so in 2011), football is the love fest. It’s the substitute for sex, capturing hearts, minds, and desires like nothing else worldwide.

Arousing and adrenaline-pumping, it’s the goal scoring in particular that invites an orgasmic experience that can never be had with a lover. The euphoric sensations and feelings players get from scoring a goal – from achieving that lifelong dream - are ones that can never be had in any other way, and shared no more passionately than with one’s teammates.

Best yet, peak performance is with the whole world watching, cheering you on, letting you ride - and ride – this most magnificent climax as your teammates smother you with hugs, kisses, and what, in many ways, looks like simulated sex. For a lot of people, footballers and fans alike, it’s all better than sex.  

The World Cup final match is like no other; it’s more important than any other. Unlike most people’s sex lives, the thrills witnessed here are forever captured in history books. They’re recounted throughout the ages. The fact that both Spain and the Netherlands have never held a World Cup title makes losing their virginity, I mean, celebrating either’s victory all the more “sexciting.”

So who do you predict giving you your kicks this weekend?

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